Charisma. It’s what makes some people compelling and others not. The great dividing line between ordinary humans and ones able to hold the attention of others. We have all met charismatic people at one point or another in our lives. Perhaps we have been drawn in by their charm. Perhaps we have been jealous. But what we did not do was ignore them. It is generally believed that charisma is an attribute deeply ingrained into our individuality. That you either have it or you don’t. But what if it wasn’t? What if charisma could be gained by anyone wishing to have it? Well, that is the view of Olivia Fox Cabane. She breaks down charisma into three easy to understand components: presence, power, and warmth. These three keys reveal, in her view, how to become charismatic.
Furthermore, she claims to have developed an approach to developing charisma that anyone can put into practice. That is the purpose of this book, The Charisma Myth, to present her charisma development system in clear instruction.
How To Become Charismatic
1: Practise Makes Perfect
The system laid out by Olivia Fox Cabane is heavily reliant on a series of exercises. Ranging from simple and easy to more complex, the reader must dedicate themselves to consistently performing them. After all, if you’re too scared to do a few exercises, you’ll never be brave enough to become a magnetic person. So if you are going to use her method, you should use it from start to finish, even if some of the exercises seem unnecessary.
2: Body Language Matters
By far the most visible element of charisma is body language. It is also the most bang for buck element, being something we can all change with relative ease. We humans are social creatures, and as such, we have evolved to easily interpret even the smallest of micro expressions. We understand the underlying emotion too, whether a person is anxious or confident as can be. This might sound bad to any of you suffering from social anxiety, but there is a silver lining. Body language is a habit that can be adjusted by conscious decision making. Over time our bodies will adopt a more confident way of expressing itself through muscle memory. But remember it starts with individual conscious choices. Body language thus stems from the mind. So it’s a good thing many of the exercises laid out in the book focus on this area.
3: First Impressions Matter Too
Yes, that old piece of wisdom drilled into the mind by your grandparents was right. First impressions have a massive impact on how people view you. And lucky for us, The Charisma Myth has a variety of tips for coming across well in the first moments of meeting a person. Everything from how we dress to the type of questions to ask, and common mistakes to avoid. Naturally this is a crucial step to socializing. Simply follow to advice in the book and you’ll be seen as charismatic in no time.
4: Embrace Being Uncomfortable
The road to becoming charismatic is not an easy one. It takes time to develop the skills to put others at ease in social settings. And it takes a lot of practice to overcome the effects of social embarrassment. But with the right mindset you will realize that social embarrassment is really not a big deal. Consciously embrace that realization and you’ll be bulletproof. This means learning to accept negative thoughts and feelings, and staying on course no matter how embarrassing. Remember that charisma is born in the mind, a point made often and well by Olivia Fox Cabane. And worry not, given enough time and practice and you’ll be fearless.
5: Don’t Cheat Yourself
Every person has their own flavor of charisma. It can be tempting to copy the style of someone you find especially impressive. Fight this temptation, to do so is to betray yourself. There are many different kinds of charisma. Remember that charisma is all about being comfortable and confident in yourself. Failure to understand this will surely frustrate your efforts of improvement. But do not worry. The Charisma Myth has a set of guidelines to help a person figure out the nature of their own personal style, which brings us back to point number 1.
The hard Truth
The premise of this book is in large part built on the claim of scientific backing. The claim that the strategies within the Charisma Myth are proven by reliable studies. I’m afraid I have been unable to verify the validity of such claim. As far as I am aware the teachings of this book are drawn more from the professional experience of it’s author. That’s not to speak harshly of them, though. I personally have gotten a lot of value from them, and I think you will too.